Taxation

One of the great luxuries that I often take for granted in this city is the abundance and relative inexpensiveness of taxis.  On most busy city streets, one seldom has to wait for more than 5 minutes to hail a taxi.  There is a plethora of choices and quality when it comes to taxis but that is a topic for another day.  The hands down winner in the category of reliability and trustworthiness is the Blue Bird Taxi Group.  Their telephone ordering service goes a long way towards them retaining the crown as they are the only taxi company that will actually show up at your house within a reasonable time.

In the past, I have attempted in vein to telephone order a taxi from other companies including Express (my personal fave as they are cheaper than Blue Bird and pretty trustworthy), Putra, and TansCab.  These  competitors either inform me that a taxi is unavailable or end up taking 2 hours to arrive at my home, by which time I have long since walked to the road and found my own taxi.

Over the years, Blue Bird has consistently improved their telephone ordering system and continues to attempt to do so.  Their latest venture is ordering via Blue Bird application on smart phones, which I have not yet been able to successfully do on my Blackberry.  The great thing about Blue Bird is that, when they are busy, they will even call you back to inform you that a taxi has not yet been ordered for you.  They seem to have it together for the most part, a rare treat for any service in Jakarta.

The process is pretty simple, you register your phone number and address with them, call up, ask for a taxi and give them your phone number.  Usually, a taxi arrives at your front door within 10-20 minutes.  The drivers are also pretty gracious when it comes to waiting when I am not yet ready to leave.  As with anything in Jakarta, this process in not always perfect.

If it is a busy time of day or there is heavy rain, they will inform you that there is up to a 2 hour wait for a taxi.  When I do order in these instances, they sometimes show up in 10 minutes and sometimes don't show up at all.  There is also the rare occasion where the taxi takes an hour to get to my house, and of course this always happens when I am in a hurry.  There are other times when the taxi cannot find my house.  Only a couple of days ago, this happened.  The driver called me to inform me that he could not find my address.  I went outside and saw him 50 meters down the road.  I advised him to go forward and look for the street number on the front of my house.  Yes, I am aware of how condescending and ridiculous that sounds.

I have to admit that, the majority of the time, they have no problem finding my house and arrive promptly.  There is a Blue Bird depot just down the road from where I live, which I think must help.  Now here is the thing that I can't get over lately.....

When I call them up, they seem to find my house with relative ease within a reasonable time.  However, when I hail a taxi on the street or get one from a mall, they often have no idea how to get to my desired destination.  I cannot get over this no matter how hard I try.  From my experience, people in Southeast Asia generally don't know how to use maps or even have them in their vehicles.  GPS in vehicles has not yet penetrated this part of the world.  How is it possible that a random taxi driver who is in the car alone can manage to navigate the labyrinth of Jakarta to my front door but can't find a mall or landmark?

I often have to tell them each and every turn to my house.  Luckily, I know my way around town.  What is worse is when I am going to an area that I don't know very well.  In these instances, I rely on the map application on my phone.  I use this to tell the taxi driver where to turn.  I have lived here long enough to tell when a taxi driver is trying to earn a few extra Rupiahs and when he is truly lost.  Most of the time, they are truly lost, which makes me wonder how in the world they consistently manage to find my house, a place that is admittedly not that easy to find.

In these situations, I often daydream as to what their job interview was like.....

"So, are you from Jakarta?"

"No, I am from Bandung."

"So, how long have you lived in Jakarta?"

"Ummmmm, around 2 months now"

"And do you know your way around Jakarta very well?"

"Well, no not really, I know the area around where I live?"

"How are you with reading maps? Do you have any experience with that?"

"No, not really, I've never used a map before."

"Great, you are hired, by the way do you have a driver's license?"

Years ago, I felt rage when a taxi driver didn't know where he was going and I had no input.  These times would result in hour(s) long taxi rides.  Inaccurate directions from locals on the side of the road would propel my rage to even further heights.  Eventually, I learned my way around town (self proclaimed map nerd) and my Bahasa Indonesia improved.  Nowadays, I feel the utmost empathy for a taxi driver who is genuinely lost and has no idea how to remedy the situation.  You would think that they would be able to call some dispatch and ask for directions but that is simply not the case.  They are thrown into the middle of the urban sprawl with no map or lifeline.  Talk about a stressful line of work.  The only time I get annoyed any more is when a friend is attempting to find my house and, out of desperation, puts the taxi driver on the phone with me.  I will ask them where they are and they will say they don't know.  When I attempt to explain how to get to my house, they tend to babble on about nothing instead of actually trying to listen to what I am saying.

I have come to the conclusion that trying to find out how a taxi can find my house without any assistance is one of those questions that will never be answered, like the chicken or the egg.

Now here comes the warm fuzzy ending.  This is the reason why most people swear by Blue Bird.  I had some friends visiting.  One of them managed to leave their iPhone in a Blue Bird taxi.  The taxi had been ordered to another friend's house.  That friend called Blue Bird and asked if they had by any chance found an iPhone in the taxi that picked up X person at X address at X time.  Thirty minutes, they called back and stated that they did indeed have the iPhone.  They were very apologetic when they explained that they wouldn't be able to drop it off at my friend's house until the following day.  She told them that they were forgiven and the phone was returned the next day.  Luckily, they knew how to find her house.

Here are some websites and videos for your viewing pleasure.....

http://www.bluebirdgroup.com/passenger-transportation/regular-taxi-blue-bird-pusaka

P.S.  I just realized that it is necessary to explain something.  The idea of giving somebody an address only to find any structure that is not a skyscraper in Jakarta is beyond ridiculous.  If I asked somebody how to get to their house and they gave me an address only, I would laugh at them.  Most directions go something like this.

From Plaza Senayan, go straight until you see a gas station, past the gas station, do a u-turn and then take your first left.  After you see a giant mosque go left and then left again and then right.  Go down the road until you come to a 3 way intersection.  Go right and my house will be the 3rd one on the left side address:  Jl. Impossibletofind #36.

The Fall of Saigon('s Trees)

Below is a somewhat forced blog that I wrote on a recent trip to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City).......

I have been reduced to sitting in the hallway of my Saigon hotel writing a note on my phone.

After a painful waiting experience at airport immigration, I managed to have a hassle free taxi ride to the main part of town last night. I found a very reasonably priced hotel with air con, a fridge, cable and hot water with little effort. A light rain mixed with a bad hangover and the reluctance to wander down dark alleys in a strange town at night managed to keep me in close proximity to my hotel on my first evening in town.

Despite it being Saturday night, these factors made for an early night and an early rise. The next morning, I found a lovely bakery that had amazing croissants and coffee, a rare treat for a seasoned Jakartan. The morning featured the same light rain experienced the night before.

I decided to wait the rain out in my room. After hours of forgettable television, I chose to go explore my surroundings. Leaving the hotel, I was faced with a slightly more intense rain. It was nowhere near the downpours I have experienced in Indonesia but still heavy enough to get wet quickly. I had another coffee at the shop across from my hotel and, once again, waited for the rain to cease. There was to be no such luck.

Dejected, I once again returned to my hotel and watched even more pointless television. Ironically, I was thankful to have cable in my room, a luxury for a cheap room in southeast Asia. After a few hours of sloth, cabin fever began to set in. I decided that it was time to explore.

Outside the hotel, I found the rain to be steadily increasing. The guy at the front desk gave me quite a large umbrella and I figured there was no stopping me. I decided to try to find the backpacker area that is supposedly close to where I am staying.

On my walk, I stumbled upon a road side sandwich stall, it was amazing. I was in a state of bliss with my baguette pork sandwich in one hand and my umbrella in the other. Then, the wind decided to rain on my parade, literally.

Once I hit a large intersection, the wind and the intensity of the rain increased. Since I had already made it this far, I decided to soldier on. During my walk, I was met by countless tourists donning giant rain ponchos and/or umbrellas. After 15 minutes of walking in unrelenting rain, I began to wonder if this was such a good idea.

A right turn on a street intersecting the one I was walking down was met with wind so intense that it blew my umbrella inside out. Getting out of this rain and having a drink suddenly seemed to be a priority. After going a block or 2 and not seeing anything, I spotted a corner cafe with a fridge full of beer. It turned out to be an ice cream shop that happened to sell beer.

The weather didn't really seem to jive with ice cream so I settled on a Tiger beer. Being right on the corner of a major intersection, I sat entertained by the constant blatant disregard for red lights, the right of way and basic common sense. It speaks volumes that these words come from the mouth (thumbs) of one who has spent years driving in Jakarta.

The highlight was a guy on a motorbike who managed to dump 8 or so cans of beer literally in the middle of the intersection. He tried to stop and pick them up but the other hundred or so cans stored in plastic crates between his legs made this impossible. To my astonishment, he soon returned on foot to the middle of the intersection to collect said cans. The fact that no passing vehicles had crushed a single can was even more astonishing. He struggled to pick up all 8 or 9 cans despite my mental encouragement for him to use his poncho as a bib, which would have easily cradled all of them. After managing to only be able to grab six with two hands, a bystander ran into the intersection and helped him pick up the remaining cans. I couldn't help but wondering if the unattended cans were being plundered.

After observing this debacle and downing a couple more tiger beers, I conceded that the rain was not going to stop. Once again, I donned my umbrella and went in search of the elusive backpacker area. After asking a few people on the street for directions to no avail, I decided to make a random left turn and try my luck. Further down the road, I saw signs of what looked like my destination to the right.

Upon turning down this road, I was met with a gust of wind that once again turned my umbrella inside out. Only this time, it nearly knocked me over. I gave up and decided to make my way back to the friendly confines of my hotel. The whole time, the wind was becoming more intense. This equated to sideways rain. After a few more umbrella mishaps, I arrived at my hotel with soaked jeans and a relatively wet fleece jacket.

Feeling that I had no choice but to hibernate, I removed my clothes and decided to have a beer from my fridge and watch even more television. 3 beers and a regrettable screening of "Eat, Pray, Love" later, I once again became stir crazy. A lack of beer in my fridge combined with my hunger made me decide to once again venture outside.

I knew there was a circle K convenience store and a few restaurants only a few doors down so the risk seemed minimal. The scene on the street was eerily quiet yet apocalyptic. I wondered if this eeriness is what it was like after this same city fell almost 40 years ago and ceased to be known as Saigon. The sound of strong wind and debris flying about heard from my room earlier probably added to this feeling.

There was a noticeable lack of traffic and pedestrians. Fallen branches were about, one even spanning an entire road. I managed to find what turned out to be an excellent noodle house only 100 meters away. After a lovely meal, I left and decided to go left down the alley to find a sim card for my phone, having saw a place the night before. I managed to stumble 5 steps to the left before once again being impeded by the wind.

I made my way to the circle K, stocked up on alcohol and decided to call it a night. Upon returning to my hotel, I realized that the power was out. After a brief yet awkward attempt at drinking in the foyer with 3 Vietnamese guys who spoke no English yet kept speaking to me in Vietnamese, the generator kicked in. I climbed the stairs back up to my 3rd floor room only to find that I had limited electricity, meaning that I had lights but no cable or air conditioning.

The heat, lack of television and the desire to smoke cigarettes forced me into the hallway.

That is where I sit at the moment, reduced to typing on my phone and smoking in a stairwell. As I write this, I can hear chainsaws cutting the fallen branches outside. I wonder if this is to be my fate in Vietnam, reduced to getting drunk in stairwells, getting soaked, knocked around and not venturing more than a few blocks from my hotel.

On the bright side, my fridge is still running which means the beer is cold. If the air conditioning does not come back on, I am going to have to drink until I pass out in order to sleep in this 3rd floor heat.

As fate would have it, the electricity came back on as I was typing the previous paragraph. However, I have become accustomed to my inebriated perch and am reluctant to return to my room. Here's to hoping that tomorrow has more to offer than Vietnamese cable and unrelenting weather.

The next day, there were downed trees and people with chainsaws everywhere. The weather for the rest of my holiday was hot and sunny. I found Saigon to be a lovely place that only added to my suspicions that I am living in a city that will one day be uninhabitable. Still, I find myself living in Jakarta and loving it on some sadistic level.

Death of the Javan Rhino

A long time ago, when I first came to Indonesia, I discovered an amazing drink. What initially drew me to this drink was not the flavour or a recommendation but the fact that the can had a picture of a rhinoceros on it. The inner child in me could not resist buying a rhino drink, not to mention the cryptic Arabic writing on it. It turned out to be a pretty tasty drink, like gatorade but less sweet. Also, it came in a variety of flavours such as orange, apple, strawberry, guava and lychee.

What started out as a novelty soon turned into a staple as you could often find what I like to refer to as rhinoceros juice in my fridge. When Indonesian friends would see me drinking this, they would ask me if I was feeling OK. Turns out that my "rhino juice" is really a type of jamu, which is a type of Javanese herbal medicine. I would reply that I just liked the taste and the fact that there was a rhino on the can.

This led me to do some translating/investigating. I mean, why did it actually have a rhino on there? Would its herbal properties give one the strength of a rhino? Or perhaps impenetrable skin that would metaphorically maintain one's health? As it turns out the real name for rhino juice is LARUTAN PENYEGAR CAP KAKI TIGA. This roughly translates to refreshing solution that stamps with three legs. A what???

The part that really wow'ed me was the 3 legs part. I suppose this means that you have some kind of extra leg/foot which gives you extra strength. Further investigation revealed that "larutan" (as it is called by the locals) is said (on the can) to "refresh the body, treat heartburn, fever, colds, canker sores, sore throat and constipation." I later found out that cap kaki tiga (stamp three legs) is a brand name (like Nokia or Kraft) and doesn't actually mean anything.

So, it is a medicine of sorts for whatever ails you. This is why everyone was always asking me if I

was OK. Further questioning as to why there was a rhino on the can seemed pointless. Indonesians I asked simply said they didn't know or that they have often wondered the same thing. Questions about the Arabic writing on the can provided similar answers. I decided that there was no point in asking why and that I should just get on with my life and continue to enjoy my "rhinoceros juice".

Years later, last week to be exact, I started to notice a design change on my beloved rhino juice. The rhino was being phased out with a new can design. This new design completely got rid of the rhinoceros and replaced it with the kaki tiga (three legs) logo.

Seeing this broke my heart a little. My old rhino friend would no longer be part of my life. I have grown to trust and depend on him over the years. The strangest thing about this is that the original design with the rhino has him standing on what appears to be a rock or mud and there is the ocean in the background. The kaki tiga logo still has the ocean in the background and it just looks weird. Sure, the contents of the can would still be the same, but it is as if coca cola put a picture of Hitler on the can. I needed to find out more.

After some intensive research and with the help of google translate, I finally found out the answer. Or so I thought. I found a story about a Sumatran factory that produced soft drinks and ice. They put a rhino on their packaging since there were so many rhinos in the area. Further reading led me to conclude that this is a completely different company since their products are only available in the North Sumatra province. I have since given up and decided to not let my dear friend leave me so suddenly. I am childishly searching around town for every can I can find that still has the Rhino on it so that we can stay friends for a little while longer. Eventually I will have to say goodbye to my dear friend, a day which I do not look forward to.

Here is their website... http://capkakitiga.com/

Freedom

One of the perks of living in a predominately Islamic country is that there is often plenty of alcohol to go around. Although the price of alcohol may be high, there are far less people who like to indulge than in your average western country. Nowhere is this more evident than when bars or pubs have anniversary nights. These usually consist of copious amounts of free beer for the masses. Yes, you heard me right, free beer.

To me, the concept of free beer is completely foreign. If they gave away free beer where I'm from, it would be absolute chaos. I cannot even predict how many people would show up, but the numbers would no doubt be staggering.

The other thing about this is that it is not 2 free beers or a free pitcher. It is as much beer as you can drink for an average span of 2 to 4 hours. Trust me from experience, you can drink a lot of beer in that time, even more than you think since there is this constant underlying fear of the beer running out.

At the most recent free beer soiree, there was an insurance company doing a lucky draw at the door. Really, this was just a marketing tool designed to get phone numbers so that they could try to get you to buy their products. I entered anyways. After going inside and running into many familiar faces who I often only see at free beer events, I thought twice about whether I should have given this insurance salesman my phone number.

Sure enough, the calls started a week or so later, then text messages. As I was busy, I ignored them for the most part. Then, one text message indicated that I should get in touch with them as they had some "good news" for me. I was still convinced that this was some kind of pitch and that the "good news" was going to be how much money I could save if I purchase their life insurance package. Finally, tired of the pestering, I picked up when they called me.

To my pleasant surprise, they informed me that the "good news" was that I was indeed the winner of a free iPad and that I could pick it up any time I wanted to. I excitedly agreed to stop by their office for a photo op a couple of days later. The agent also slyly persuaded me into looking into health insurance since I was coming in. I found it hard to say no since they were giving me a no strings attached piece of expensive electronics.

After hearing his health insurance song and dance, I told him I would think about it, as it did seem like a good package. I then got my new iPad and have not stopped playing with it since. To add icing to the cake, my office is considering changing our health insurance policy to the one presented to me, which means I won't have to pay for it.

So as it turns out, it pays to drink free beer. Keep that in mind the next time you say there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Eat A Bowl of Shit

Yesterday, after doing some vigorous cleaning around the house, I decided that I would go for a well deserved massage. A friend had recently recommended a new place that is pretty close to my house. I got on my motorbike and made my way to the massage place, which is less than 5 minutes away from my house, or so I thought. My ride turned into an absolute nightmare that resulted in me having to eat the biggest bowl of shit ever. Here is how it unfolded....

I was driving through a complex that is a pretty slow and casual place to be driving. I go through this area regularly, almost on a daily basis. As I was coming up to a left turn (bear in mind that you drive on the LEFT in Indonesia) a bike coming in the opposite direction came flying around the corner driving not on the left but the right side of the road. To put this in perspective, this driver was making a RIGHT turn while driving on the RIGHT side of the road. Try to visualize this if you can, it is pretty much the most reckless and ridiculous thing one can do. In a panic, as the bike was about to hit me, I honked my horn. As he swerved around me, I kind of threw my hands in the air as to say (without actually speaking, this is important) "what in the world are you thinking?"

That was the end of that, or so I thought. I continued down the road and the driver of the other bike turned around and pulled up next to me and started asking what my problem was. I replied that I had no problem only that he should consider driving on the LEFT side of the road. He demanded I pull over, this seemed ridiculous to me so I kept on going. As we hit the end of the street, he veered left and I continued right. He started screaming, turned around again, pulled up beside me and started demanding that we go to the police office. I kind of laughed and just kept driving. He then jackknifed his bike in front of mine, forcing me to stop. This road is relatively slow one that is filled with houses on both sides. I expected a crowd to form immediately, it didn`t.

The man was somewhat older and extremely enraged. The whole conversation took place in Bahasa Indonesia but I will write in English only to save time.

Him: "You verbally insulted me, why did you do that"

Me: "I honked my horn so you wouldn't hit me when you were coming around the corner, there was no verbal insult."

Him: "I didn't hit you so what is your problem, why did you insult me? What country are you from?"

Me: "What does it matter what country I'm from? The only reason you didn't hit me was because I honked my horn, how is that an insult?"

Him: "I'm 50 years old, you can't speak to me like that!!"

Me: "Does that give you the right to drive on the WRONG side of the road????"

Him: "I demand we go to the police station, come with me to the police station now!!!"

Me: "You want to go to the police station, seriously? What are you going to tell them, that you were recklessly driving on the WRONG side of the road and almost caused an accident?"

Him: "POLICE STATION NOW!!!! YOU INSULTED ME!!!"

Me: "No, I'm not going to the police station, I didn't insult you but I will apologize if that's what you want."

Him: "Do you know who I am? police station now!!!"

He then proceeded to reach over and grab my keys out of my ignition. I grabbed his wrist and twisted and pulled his hand as hard as I could until he dropped my keys. I pulled him so hard that he kind of fell over onto my bike and knocked it over. Usually when there is any kind of incident like this in Indonesia, a crowd forms instantly. I wanted this to happen so that I could get out of this situation as this man seemed to be absolutely insane. As he fell over onto my bike, I grabbed my keys and told him to back off. At this point, no crowd had formed yet. I started thinking that he was going to come at me again and that I was going to have to fight my way out of this situation. I haven't been in a fight or even so much as thrown a punch at anybody in the last 25 years but, if he was going to come at me again, I felt I would have no choice but to hit him.

A minute later, a group of men came over to see what all the fuss was about. I was extremely relieved as I did not want to have a physical altercation. Alright, I thought, they'll sort this situation out and tell this guy to get lost and leave me alone. One of the guys was the head security guy for the housing complex. These guys are usually the local complex "police" and nobody dares to mess with them. I started telling the security guy how he chased me and tried to take my keys. They asked that we go over to their booth 100 meters away. I agreed and went over there. I continued to tell my story to the security guy while the guy from the other bike kept shouting "Police station NOW, you are insulting!" I started to notice the body language of the security guy and his friends. They were a little afraid of this man from the bike and wouldn't tell him to stop shouting or to leave me alone.

Eventually, the security guy convinced me to come speak with him in a little food stall behind his booth.

Security: "I believe everything you say and that you did not insult him but only honked your horn but you need to understand that this man belongs to an important organization and has very powerful friends. We have no choice but to do what he says or I will have big problems."

Me: "Sir, I don't want to go to the police station, they will just make me pay money or try to take my bike away. I did NOT insult this man, this whole situation is ridiculous to me, I just want to go home."

Security: "The only way to make him happy is to give him money, I don't like this man very much but I have no choice but to do what he says or I will be in big trouble, sorry sir."

Me: "So he drives like a maniac and then chases me and tries to take my keys and I have to give him money? This does not seem very fair to me, especially since I didn't do anything wrong."

Security: "I agree with you, sir but your choices are to either give him some money or call the police and have them come here." (I knew right then and there that I would probably be forced to give the police even more money, not to mention that they were probably friends of this other guy)

Me: "OK fine, how much should I give him? is 100 thousand ($9) enough?" (By the way the driver was dressed, I could tell that he had money, he did not care about the amount of money but merely wanted to show me how important he was and rub my face in it)

Security "Sir, that should be OK, people only give me 25 thousand ($2.75) when I ask for money, let me go talk to him, wait here`

Security `Sorry sir but he says that you must give another 50 thousand ($4.50) or we have to call the police`

Me: `That`s not fair, sir but I will pay it` (paying the police off would have cost me a LOT more)

Security: `Sir, he has agreed not to call the police, you can go now. I`m sorry, sir, please don`t think we are bad people who hate westerners `

Me: `OK, thank you sir, I don`t think that way, I only think that other man is crazy`

Security: `Me too, sir`

I then went outside and the other driver who was previously in a rage had completely calmed down. I said nothing to him as I walked back to my bike. He mentioned something about learning some manners. Knowing when I am defeated, I gave him an evil scowl, got on my bike and went to the massage place.

After having time to reflect on this situation, the bad taste in my mouth still lingers. I don`t feel that I did anything wrong and, even had I insulted this man, did not deserve to be treated this way. This was a reminder for me of how corrupt and ridiculous a country this is and how some `elite`people can do whatever they want whenever they want. It was absolutely shocking to see the security guy cower in front of this so called important man. They are usually pretty much at the top of the food chain and are feared by most.

I would like to point out that this is one of the worst incidences I have ever been involved with and that the vast majority of Indonesian people here, even rich corrupt ones, usually treat others with respect and deal with things in a civilized manner.

I have been daydreaming and hoping that by some strange twist of fate this man one day needs something from me. I would make him publicly kiss my hand and admit that he is evil and corrupt. Doubt that will ever happen but one can always dream.

The Times, They Are A Changin'

There's a new outdoor cafe culture sweeping across Jakarta. It consists of a wide array of food, snacks and drinks mixed with the choice of sitting on an outdoor patio or in air conditioned comfort. They are open 24 hours a day and seem to be exponentially appearing across the Jakarta landscape. Maybe you've heard of it before, it's a little store known as 7/11.

When I first moved to Jakarta, there were no 7/11's. I recall transiting in Taipei on my way to Jakarta and being blown away by the amount of 7/11's they had there. They were practically on every street corner and were the everything in one store. Ditto when I visited Thailand years later. Eventually, they found their way to Jakarta and managed to improve on the original model.

The first 7/11's appeared a little over a year ago an weren't met with much fanfare. I simply noticed and thought "oh, 7/11, maybe I can get a slurpee one day" Then, I actually visited one. They had a widely expanded variety of food and beverages, including my favorite; beer. Hanging out at 7/11 gradually became the hip thing for Indonesian people to do on a Saturday night as it was not uncommon to see 50 motorbikes parked in front of some of them.

The whole idea sprouted from the Circle K chain of convenience stores. Many young people in South Jakarta who couldn't afford (or didn't like) to drink in bars or pubs would simply meet their friends at Circle K, buy a large bottle of beer and drink it on the curb outside. This became increasingly popular, especially in the Kemang area. 7/11 had the brilliant idea to take this one step further by adding patio tables with umbrellas,air conditioned upstairs lounges with free wi-fi and public toilets.

Nowadays, certain 7/11's seem to always have people in them from morning coffee patrons to the lunch crowd to the after work drink crowd to the late night one more for the road crowd. I have increasingly started to meet friends at 7/11 for an early evening beverage or 2 before hitting the town. There is also a pretty good chance that I will see someone I know having an after work drink if I stop in to buy something. This has totally changed the game as there aren't many outdoor places to sit in Jakarta that are affordable and have a nice atmosphere.

The newest installment of 7/11 is very close to my house and has left me with mixed feelings. The lot that it is located on previously had what is known as night warungs. This is basically a large area of long tables and chairs that are surrounded by different food stalls. Kind of like an outdoor food court with more authentic food. It was one of my favorite places to eat dinner thanks to the variety and atmosphere. This place was also very popular with the locals as it always seemed to be busy. One day, I drove down there to get some fried noodles and, to my shock and dismay, the stalls had been demolished. I could not wrap my head around why such a successful group of businesses would shut down.

A month later, I got my answer: a brand new shiny 7/11 with more patio tables than I've ever seen. The good thing is that I have a new local hangout to enjoy a beverage or 2 with my friends. The bad thing is that all of that tasty authentic Indonesian food I loved has been traded in for big bite hot dogs, slurpees and pre-packaged sandwiches. I really don't know how to feel about this. As Bob Dylan once said so long ago "The times, they are a changin"

I can either learn to adapt or be left behind. There is so much to ponder with a cold beer on a patio on a Wednesday afternoon.

The Best Game You Can Name

As I've mentioned before, the thing I miss the most from back home is hockey. After numerous attempts (in vein) to get the cable company that carries hockey installed http://jakarta-grind.blogspot.com/2010/08/first-media-we-dont-need-it-do-we.html I finally gave up. Then, one day, out of nowhere, a glimmer of hope appeared. A new cable operator called Skynindo that had the channel I was desperately searching for (In HD as well!). I called them up and they informed me that they could indeed have it installed in my home by the end of the week. This filled me with excitement as I was FINALLY going to be able to watch the NHL playoffs in the comfort of my own home. After some back and forth discussion with the sales rep, we agreed that the technician(s) would come on Saturday.

I made it a point to be home on that day and not preoccupied as technicians often show up without hammers or ladders and require assistance. As promised, the technician(s) showed up at 2 P.M. after asking for directions a couple of times. To my surprise, they were ready to go, complete with their own tools. They chose a spot to install the satellite and went to work. I was impressed by the spot they chose since I've had lots of trouble with the location of my other cable satellite.

As they went to work, I informed them that I would be inside if they needed anything. That was at 2:15 P.M. Over the next couple of hours, I looked outside every 20 minutes or so to make sure that they were OK. They seemed to be taking a very long time as previous satellite installations had taken as little as 15 minutes. I decided to leave them be as they seemed to know what they were doing.

They eventually re-appeared at 4:45 P.M. asking if I had a television that they could use. Confused, I asked for clarification. They said that they wanted to take a television up to the roof to test if the satellite was working properly. The only television I have is my 32 inch flat screen and I told them that there was no way that they were taking it up to the roof and that they would just have to run the cable down (as they would eventually have to anyways) to the television. They begrudgingly agreed. I didn't bother asking them how they planned on plugging the television in up on the roof.

After I showed them where the cable had to come into the house, they ran t

he cable and plugged it into the converter box. Step 1

complete, success! The next step was to connect the converter box to the television; easy, right? Not so much. After the 2 of them spent 20 minutes fumbling around, I decided to step in and help. The converter to television connection was a component cable, like the one used to connect a dvd player. When I stepped in to help, they were basically guessing where to plug the wires in. I tried to explain to them (without being patronizing) that the blue wire goes in the blue holes and that the green wire goes in the green holes etc. Each time it wouldn't work, they would disconnect a wire and try it in a different hole. (for example: blue wire in red hole? No! How about blue wire in white hole?) They were convinced that they would eventually get it right. I shooed them out of the way and connected it properly. After it was all colour coded and ready to rock, it still wasn't working. I informed them that it had to be the converter box or the satellite. They didn't listen, they started randomly trying the wires in different slots again.

By this point, I was losing my patience. I asked a friend (there were 5 friends sitting on my couch being entertained this whole debacle, especially since one of my friends pointed out that the one technician looked just like Chris Rock) how to say 'guess' in Bahasa. Again, I explained to the technician that he couldn't just guess where the wire went, that the colours HAD to match and that he could NOT just randomly try different holes. They only work in the hole that has the matching colour. This time, I seemed to get through to him. He replied with "Ooooooh gitu" (oh, like THAT) and went back out to the satellite and managed to get a signal. He got a semi decent signal and, in order to make it better, he decided to switch the blue and green wires. This resulted in a black & white picture with a green-ish tinge. "Udah, Mister!" (done) he cried triumphantly. I had to disappoint him by pointing out that the picture is supposed to be in colour (not to mention HD) and not black & white with a green tinge. Again, I switched the wires back to where they were supposed to be, making him watch and sent them back to the satellite. After a good 30 minutes of playing around, they managed to get a clear picture.

Just as they did, a hockey game appeared on my television which was met by a boisterous applause by the peanut gallery on the couch. That's the end of this ordeal, or so I thought. Not so much, I still had to sort out the bill. They had attempted to charge me for transport and vastly over charged me for the length of cable used (you pay by the meter). Luckily, I had my tape measure sitting on the table and went about measuring the cable. After 2 minutes of this, they gave up and agreed that it was probably 10 meters less than the 25 meters they had written down. It was even less than that but I couldn't be bothered. They were refusing to budge on the transport fee as their office was "Jauh" (far away). After threatening to call the sales manager, they begrudgingly removed the transport fee. Nobody else who had ever installed anything in my house had ever tried to charge me for transport and I'd be dammed if they were going to be the first. Finally, everything was settled. Not so much.

They told me that the balance of the bill (including that satellite that I had to buy) had to be paid in cash to them. These guys were sketchy looking on their best day and there was no way I was handing them a big wad of cash. After 3 or 4 phone calls, I got their boss to agree to let me deposit the money into his account the next day on the condition that I provided them with a photocopy of my passport. I told him that I didn't have a photocopy of my passport on me and that it was not the easiest thing to obtain on 6:30 P.M. on a Saturday night. He said to give my passport to the technicians and have them go find a place. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! Finally, I "remembered" that I did have a photocopy of my passport laying around in my room. I quickly changed the passport number on the contract I had filled out and gave them a photocopy of my old passport that expired in June 2009. They didn't notice and were happily on their way after spending a mere 5 hours at my house.

Tired and sweaty, I went inside and cracked a well deserved beer and watched the good ol' hockey game. Since that day, I have been fortunate enough to watch playoff hockey on a nightly basis and have managed to even get some of my British friends interested in it. Life is good despite the Detroit Red Wings losing a 7th game heartbreaker. As Stopmin Tom Connors says, it is "The best game you can name, that good ol' hockey game" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SXNCnf15EA

GO CANUCKS! Bring the Cup back to Canada!

Mall-evolence

Last week, a few expat friends and I were sitting around discussing which malls in Jakarta we prefer. The irony of this conversation was not lost on us as we all agreed that the concept of "liking" a certain mall back in our respective countries is ridiculous or even laughable. There is a very specific breed of adult human who frequents malls in western countries. The rest (majority) of the population view the mall as a place that is only visited when deemed absolutely necessary. These necessary visits are either for Christmas shopping OR to buy something that is only available at a certain store in a certain mall. In these situations, the mall visit is a commando style get-in-get-out-as-fast-as-possible mission. There is no window shopping, strolling or visits to the food court, just the task at hand.

In Jakarta, this is just not the case. The mall is the place to be for people of all ages. It is not simply the cool choice but the ONLY choice. You see, Jakarta has a severe shortage of sidewalks, parks and basically places that make it possible to walk. This makes a mall very appealing to people here as they can walk without being hit by a motorbike or getting black smoke in their face. The mall is an oasis of sorts, an escape from the filthy, hot, smoky, humid stench ball of a city that this place can be at times. Malls are air conditioned, clean and spacious. Perfect for a casual stroll. This is the main reason that most Indonesians go to malls. Most don't actually go to purchase goods or services but simply to move around and take in the sights.

This may leave you asking why a young expatriate man who does not enjoy shopping or walking in malls visit a mall so often. The answer is simple, it is an all in one place where you can eat, see and do things that are not otherwise possible. I am ashamed to admit that I have spent up to 8 hours in a mall in a single day. The mall is where I go to eat, work out, watch movies, buy groceries, buy household items (http://jakarta-grind.blogspot.com/2010/08/ace-in-hole.html), meet friends for a coffee and even clubbing. Yes, all of these things and so much more in one convenient location.

Convenient is a word that would never be used to describe anything in Jakarta. Most simple chores involve fighting horrendous traffic, searching in vein and lack of parking. A mall, on the other hand, has almost everything you need under one roof. The convenience of having a nice meal followed by grabbing a few things at a supermarket is just so much easier than trying to do those things separately. Factor that in with the relative closeness to home and the avoidance of the outside world hassles and you have the perfect place.

What is my favorite mall you ask? Easy, it is Pondok Indah Mall (better known as PIM). To be more specific, it is PIM 2. You see, there is a PIM 1 and a PIM 2 that are on

opposite sides of the street and connected by sky bridges. This is my favorite mall for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, it is a mere 5 minute casual drive from my house. This is an extremely short time/distance to go somewhere in Jakarta, it might as well be right next door! Secondly, the fitness club I belong to is located there. Third, they have an excellent selection of food that is varied in price and style. Other amenities there that I partake in include the supermarket, ace hardware, book store, reflexology massage shop and newly opened beer garden.

An average weekday visit to the mall would consist of me arriving, going to a yoga class, getting some food to make for dinner that night (or get some food from a restaurant to go), having a casual stroll trying to remember what the other that I wanted to not forget to buy was, peek inside the book store and then head home. I go through this routine at a minimum of 3 times a week. Other times, I may simply pop in to grab some food or to get whatever other item it is that I may need. Ironically, it is much easier to drive my motorbike there, park and get the thing I need as opposed to going elsewhere.

It is pointless to name names of other malls that I like or dislike. What is important to know is that the supply of malls in Jakarta far outweigh the demand. Malls vary in size and quality but there are quite a few boutique malls that cater to the filthy rich. I don't make it to these malls very often and when I do, it is usually strictly for eating or entertainment as many of these malls have great clubs that are open until the wee hours of the morning. Oddly enough, fewer than 5% of Jakartans can actually afford to shop in these monstrosities yet there are a good dozen of these malls.

Love it or hate it, the mall culture is alive and kicking in Jakarta. What amazes me is that they just keep building more and more of them and people keep packing them. A large number of visitors to the mall don't buy much besides an ice cream cone or refreshment which leaves me to wonder how some of these high end places manage to pay their rent. From what the locals tell me, this mall culture is a relatively new phenomenon as most of them are less than 10 years old.

So tell me, what is your favorite mall in Jakarta? By my personal bias, I think that Pondok Indah Mall is hard to beat with Grand Indonesia coming in at a close second. Anyone who leaves negatives comments towards PIM will see my mall-icious side.

Bonus Fact: I spent my last new year's eve at a restaurant/club inside a mall

When the Lights Go Down in the City

Recently, my landlord informed me that they had to do some "repairs" to the house's electrical metering device thingy. To my astonishment, it turned out to be a new pay as you go type of meter. It's a simple device really, you basically buy credit and enter the numbers into the device. When you are nearly out of credit, the device starts beeping (like an alarm clock) every 20 minutes. When your credit runs out, the lights go out.

When this was first installed, the guy who installed it informed me that there was enough credit on there to last for the next couple of hours or so. This meant that I had to immediately go out and find an ATM machine and buy credit. This happened at a very inopportune time when it also happened to be raining. In the end, I managed to get credit and avoided a Saturday evening blackout.

This prevented me from having the pleasure of hearing the soothing sounds of "the lights are about to go out" alarm. This did eventually happen. Luckily, the meter is right outside my bedroom window. This worked out quite well as I was woken up at 3 A.M. by the alarm going off. It continued to go off in 20 minute intervals all night long. The only way to stop this is to buy more credit, which is not really an option in the middle of the night. I woke up to a hot stuffy room with no electricity. I managed to shower in the dark and immediately went searching for an ATM machine so I could top up my credit.

You would think that I would learn my lesson and not allow this to happen again. NO! A couple of days ago, I noticed that the level was getting low and that I should buy some credit soon. I forgot to do it that day. The next evening, I came home at 11 P.M. and heard the alarm going off. I realized that I had completely forgotten to buy credit. I decided to immediately go to the closest ATM and buy some credit as I didn't want to be kept up all night by the alarm, not to mention waking up to no electricity.

I went to the ATM, followed the steps of buying credit and was astonished to not have a receipt come out of the machine. The receipt is of the utmost importance as it contains the numbers you have to punch into the meter in order to top up your credit. Basically, this meant that I had just lost Rp. 500 000 ($50). I insisted that the guys at the convenience store (where the ATM was located) call the bank. They said not to worry but I insisted as I was not giving up my money without a fight. After answering a barrage of skill testing questions, the bank agreed to delete the purchase and put the money back in my account.

Relieved, I left the store only to soon realize that I hadn't managed to buy any credit. At this time of night, there was no other ATM machine within a reasonable driving distance. Dejected and tired from the 30 minutes I spent in the convenience store, I went home and prayed that the electricity would not go out. After a relatively sleepless night (guess why), I woke to a cool room that still had lights. I gave myself a high five and got into the shower. Halfway through my shower, lights out. I finished yet another shower in the dark and went searching for an ATM machine that had not run out of receipt paper. I found one and managed to get credit with relative ease, or so I thought.

Upon triumphantly returning with my receipt, I realized that the printing on the receipt was very blurry an spotty. The ink was about to run out on that ATM machine printer. This made it very difficult to decipher the 16 digit code. After 4 or 5 botched attempts (due to mistaking 8's for 3's etc) I managed to successfully enter the code and light and comfort once again returned to my humble home.

Hopefully I have learned my lesson and will manage to buy credit before it runs out next time. I would like to thank the PLN (Indonesian Electric company) as well as my landlord for putting me in this lovely predicament. I guess this is my reward for paying my bill on time for years on end.

Airing of Grievances

In the spirit of Festivus, I have decided to cleanse myself by airing my grievances for the year. In no particular order, here are my grievances for the year 2010

"I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna to hear about it."

Frank Costanza

1) Rizieq Shihab and the FPI (Islamic Defender's Front) - You are a constant thorn in the side of Indonesia and the tens of millions of Muslim Indonesians who are happy with the way things are. For some reason, you justify your silly acts as a necessity of security and lifestyle. Stabbing female priests and burning things down is not OK, even if it is in the name of God. I do applaud your effort to ensure that nothing bad will happen during Christmas but I am sure that it will be business as usual for you come New Year's Day. Stop trying to be every one's daddy and let people have free will to make their own decisions.

2) The Jakarta Post - For years now, I have had to put up with your overly sensationalized news. Your newspaper reads like a tabloid and is filled with spellink and grammatical mistake. Thankfully, there is The Jakarta Globe which enables me to avoid having to digest your literal diarrhea.

3) Mother Nature - You must be getting old and senile because you can't seem to decipher when the rainy and dry seasons begin and end. It rained throughout the dry season this year. The last couple of weeks have been the driest of the whole year yet it still rains pretty much every day. Ironically, this is the rainy season. I am sick and tired of you causing floods, traffic jams and a general malaise. What gets me the most is that you screwed with mango season, the thing I look forward to most at this time of year.

4) First Media - In the modernity of 2010, I STILL cannot get you to provide me with cable and internet service, despite living within spitting distance of one of the wealthiest areas of Jakarta. All I want to do is be able to come home at night and watch a hockey game on television. A colleague of mine recently told me that you told her that your services were not available in her complex despite the box on her front lawn that said FIRST MEDIA on it. After she called you 3 times, you finally agreed that it was indeed available in her area. Please get your head out of your ass and provide cable to the entire city.

5) BB's Blues Bar - The only grievance I have with you is that you have closed your doors. Despite having not been to your bar in a while, I always looked forward to your reggae nights. You will be sorely missed and don't deserve to be on this list.

6) Zebra Mosquitoes - I really hate that you choose to bite people in the morning hours and give them dengue fever. When you did this to me, my life was really screwed up for a couple of months. Can`t you just be like other mosquitoes and be nighttime ankle biters? I would appreciate if you would refrain from giving me dengue fever again in the upcoming year as it really really sucks.

7) The Old Security Man on My Street - You really are a nice and friendly old fellow but is it really necessary to bang your stick on the iron bars of my gate at 2 and 3 and 4 A.M. every night? I understand that your purpose is to inform people that you are indeed keeping watch and not sleeping but there really is no need for that. This is similar to calling someone on the phone every hour to inform them that everything is fine. This reminds me of Homer Simpson's everything's OK alarm invention. It keeps making noise as long as everything is OK.

Well, that's about it, glad I got that off my chest. If any of you have any grievances that you wish to air, feel free to comment. I can take it. This is my strong suit as I don't stand much of a chance in the Feats of Strength. Here's to hoping that your Festivus miracle comes true.

Nickel & Dime

With the Indonesian Rupiah having such a low exchange rate, it is sometimes very easy to get hung up on a small amount of money without realizing it. The usual exchange rate is around 9000 Rupiah for 1 American dollar. This can get quite confusing as you are always thinking in tens and hundreds of thousands or even millions. I like to tell the people back home that I am a millionaire. The irony of this is that 1 million is only $110 US.

Cash transactions can be very confusing as you have

to constantly think on your toes. Buying a few

items at the supermarket will set you back (for example) two hundred and thirty four thousand eight hundred and twelve Rupiah. Once you get used to it, it's not that difficult but I still regularly ask people to repeat the price of things. When this gets really weird is when you are bargaining.

It is common to haggle over the price of things in Jakarta. Any time

there is no price tag, the cost is negotiable. In many instances, I have found myself hard bargaining over a kilo of mangoes or a motorbike taxi ride. It will get down to a difference of 1000 Rupiah and I will stand my ground in order to get the price I want. Afterwards, I will reflect and realize that I managed to save 11 cents. In the heat of negotiation, it seems like a big deal but really it's nothing. When you hear the words one thousand or 500, your mind instinctively thinks that it is a decent amount of money.

Sometimes, these situations are more about respect than the actual m

onetary value. A pack of cigarettes used to cost nine thousand or nine thousand five hundred rupiah. Whenever I would buy a pack, I would give a ten thousand Rupiah bill and wait for my change. Quite often, the vendor would blankly stare at me and ask what else I wanted. I would insist that I wanted my change. They would then give me either five hundred or one thousand Rupiah. Literally nickel and diming.

Another fine example of this is a motorbike parking lot. The standard price is around five hundred Rupiah for the first hour and then one thousand extra for each additional hour. It is dirt cheap really as it rarely costs more than two thousand Rupiah.

Just a couple of days ago, I was exiting the parking lot at Gandaria City (lovely, by the way) and my parking fee was a whopping five hundred rupiah. I have a one thousand Rupiah bill (smallest bill, five hundred is a coin) and the attendant asked if I had uang pas (exact change). I replied that I didn't and she took the one thousand bill and said I'd have to pay that much. I objected and she replied with "Hanya lima ratus" (only five hundred). I argued that if this was the case, I wouldn't pay as it would be "only five hundred". I snatched my bill back and said I wasn't going to pay as I had a suspicion that she was lying. She then opened a drawer filled with five hundred Rupiah coins and gave me my change. Did I care about the 6 cents? Not really. It was more the point that she was probably doing this to eve

ryone and going home with a nice chunk of change that didn't belong to her. Did I feel a little like Larry David? Yes, I did but I just want to be treated with respect and not be scammed, even if it is "only" 6 cents.

So what do I do with all of these coins? It's simple, I

put

them in a jar as most westerners would in their home country. One day I actually decided to count

my change. There are five hundred, two hundered, one hundred, and fifty Rupiah coins. They are made of an inferior metal that makes tin seem strong. I've heard that this is because a decent metal would be worth more than the value of the coin itself. As I set out to count my coins, I realized that I had a large amount of one hundred and two hundred coins but barely any five hundred coins. After some serious thought, it occurred to me that my maid had likely been swiping the five hundred coins thinking that I wouldn't notice. All of my nickel and diming had manged to put an extra 3 dollars or so in my maid's pocket. At least I have my pride and my collection of 200 Rupiah coins, they make

great gifts.

Can You Repeat the Part Where You Said The Stuff About the Things?

One of the biggest obstacles facing expats in Jakarta is coping with the local language. It isn't the most difficult language to learn and I will shamelessly admit that my Bahasa Indonesia is decent. Over the years, my pronunciation, as well as local people's ability to understand me, has improved dramatically. When I was a newbie, I'd repeat words over and over and get upset when people didn't understand me. Over time, I've learned how to intonate properly in order to be understood. Nowadays, I get compliments from Indonesians that my Bahasa is quite good. I don't think it's that good but maybe that's because I want to improve.

Once one learns the language, one has to deal with some people's inability to listen. I have learned the hard way that some people, once they see that you are not Indonesian, automatically assume that they will not be able to understand a word you say since they don't speak English. When this happens, their ears fill up with wax, their brains go into hibernation mode and their comprehension skills go out the window. It is quite frustrating when this happens.

Some days, I will converse in Bahasa with a dozen people who will have no problem understanding me. Then comes number 13, they just look at me like I am speaking gibberish. They can't understand a thing that I say. Correction, they DON'T EVEN LISTEN to word I say and therefore get confused. If this happened with the majority of people that I speak with, I would consider it to be a fault of my own. Since it doesn't happen most of the time, I feel vindicated.

Here are a few examples:

1) Sometimes, I will be in a taxi with my lady. We will be coming up to a street where we need to turn. I will say "Pak, belok kiri" (elder man/sir, turn left) "Pak, belok kiri" "Pak Pak......Belok kiri" "BELOK KIRI PAK!!!!!". The driver does not even acknowledge that he hears me or that I am speaking. My lady will then say (in the EXACT same intonation as me) "Pak, belok kiri" and the driver will immediately say "Oke" and then turn left. Every time this happens to me, I am absolutely dumbfounded.

2) I am filling my motorbike up with gas. The attendant will ask how much I want. I say "lima belas" (fifteen) He will respond with "Berapa?" (how much). I will repeat myself "lima belas" He will then reply with "sepuluh?" (ten, which sounds NOTHING like fifteen). I slowly repeat myself "liiiima bellaaaaaas". He then replies with "sembilan belas?" (nineteen). I then retort with (whilst counting with my fingers) "satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima belas" (one, two, three, four, five....teen). Blank stare, no response. I regroup and try again whilst pointing at my hand showing 5 digits. "Mendengarkan aku......lima......belas" (listen to me....fifteen). Finally, a response and a shy grin "oooh lima belas, mister"

This is a clear cut case of the attendant seeing my face and losing all composure to the point where he resorted to guessing. If he would have confused tiga (three) with lima (five), I could understand since they sound very similar but the numbers he was guessing did not even sound remotely close to what I was saying.

3) (on the phone, my personal favorite) I call Domino's pizza. "selemat sore, Domino's pizza" (good afternoon, Domino's pizza) "Hello, aku mau pesan pizza" (hello, I want order pizza) "oh, ya, sebentar ya, mister" (wait, ya mister). I get put on hold and eventually another voice comes on the line "Yes, hello mister, you like eating pizza?" (translated into English, this means: Yes, hello, mister, may I take your order). I humor them and switch to English "Hi, I'd like to order pizza" They respond with "Yes, mister........uuuh you eat order pizza? What......you...like? Can Please I have........ number phone" I reply very slowly with "zero......eight.....one". By this point, I switch back to Bahasa as I can tell the guy is totally lost "kosong.......delepan......satu.....tiga" (zero eight one three). After 3 or 4 times of going through the numbers of my phone number and them not being able to find me in their database, the guy puts me on hold again. It is much easier to give them the correct number as opposed to trying to spend 20 minutes explaining my address and exactly where I live. Been there, done that, not easy. Eventually, another voice comes on the line "yes mister, nomor telephonenya?" (yes mister, number telephone you?). I repeat my phone number quickly in Bahasa and the guy gets it correct the first time, no problem. I then place my order and within 30 seconds, everything is accomplished and I hang up. This after being on the line for nearly 10 minutes.

I've played out this situation on numerous occasions. There have been many instances where I "Press one for English" only to have an operator eventually hang up on me because they can't understand me.

A while back, I felt that if I honed my Bahasa Indonesia skills that these instances would cease. It is now abundantly obvious to me that they will never stop, only happen less frequently. The next time I call Domino's, I'm going to ask for the guy who listens well to get on the line.